Short lived summer of 2013

When things are scarce, they are precious. 

In Germany, sunlight is scarce. For someone, who has lived in the tropics all her life, it is hard to imagine, how something so basic as sunlight can be "scarce"!. But when you live a whole year in Europe, you begin to understand why the "whites" are so sun-crazy. 

In the summer of 2013, I remember, how I would go out to the park with my little one. He would cycle on his little balance bike all around the park. He would play in the sand, digging up dirt, with his sand toys. This summer, he finally conquered his fear of slides. He also learnt to climb ropes. Little did I realize then, how short lived sunny days can be here!.

Its now back to cold, gloomy, gray skies. It feels like the summer was almost not there!. One is left asking, "Wasn't it cold just a few months back and now its back again?!". The park is  now littered with the fall leaves. The weather is too cold to stay outside too long. The slide is almost always wet, from dew or rain. Sigh!. 

Lost child

Poised in an exaggerated lithotomy position, with a sonic probe in her privates, Sita waited, as her gynecologist, pronounced the verdict. Nearly three months pregnant, she had been been joking rather casually to her friends that this pregnancy had been a "song" of sorts, compared to her first. But that was only till the night before.

Sita never expected the turn of events that had unfolded the night before. Like every other night since her pregnancy was confirmed, she had risen to empty her bladder in the middle of the night. Her nocturnal micturating habit had been the only thing that had been troubling her in this pregnancy. It was so slightly disturbing, that she almost forgot she was carrying at most times!. But that night, she spotted some blood on her undergarments. Before, she could wonder what that meant, she was passed out. She couldn't remember how long she must have been lying on the bathroom floor. She only could vaguely piece together sights of her hitting her head on the door frame as she passed out, then limping out of the bathroom, only to fall unconscious again in the passageway. The incident left her with a bruise on her left shoulder and head, both of which were terribly sore even as she laid in the gynecologist's office.

The gynecologist, was a middle aged man in his early 50s. He seemed learned and skilled but, was always in a rush to usher his patients out. Almost immediately after he had maneuvered the sonic probe inside, he shook his head and bluntly declared " its dead!". That was it!.

Sita stared at the screen in disbelief.  These things were not supposed to happen!. This was the second pregnancy- it was supposed to be easy!. Her mind was full of thoughts, but the doctor wasted no time at all. " I am sorry, but there is nothing that can be done..", he said and pulled the probe out.

The doctor went on to explain that she had the option of waiting for a spontaneous expulsion or getting an evacuation done at a local hospital. It was a Friday morning- a day most doctors would love to relax and look forward to the weekend. He quickly scribbled some iron tablets and advised to come for a repeat scan on Monday morning- leaving the evacuation decision to Sita.

Numbed and lost, Sita walked outside the clinic, gathering her thoughts. She was not distraught at the loss of her second born. Her first child was always keeping her on her toes, so much so, that she sometimes was unsure of how she was going to manage with two children. Even so, it was a personal loss. Her biological clock was ticking. She couldn't help but think that it must have been an aged, dysfunctional ovum that had been responsible for the fetal loss. That was what the doctor was hinting at, as he tried to explain the early pregnancy loss. She wondered if it was the extra strain at housework that had been responsible for the miscarriage,but then immediately dismissed the thought, as frivolous.

Back home, she called up her mother and told her  what had happened. Expectedly, her mother was calm and comforting. She called a few friends and told them, but quickly hung up, not wanting to go into details.

That night, she sobbed her heart out. It was a miscarriage, but it felt like everything was going wrong for her. She was lost. She felt unwanted and unimportant. She felt responsible for the loss. Was it the tap water that was the cause? Maybe she should have headed to the warning of too much lead in tap water. Was it her diet?. She couldn't help feeling guilty. But her mind didn't stop at just that. Her career had been hijacked by familial commitments. Her social circle had all but gone. She had even given up on taking care of herself, devoting her full time to childcare and household chores.

Thus far, the pain had been emotional. The next day, it became the worse kind of physical pain, she had ever experienced. Sita had opted to wait it out for a spontaneous expulsion. She didn't have to wait too long. It started with a cramping, on and off pain in her lower abdomen. And then, went on, getting worse, with every passing minute.  Writhing in pain, Sita howled in her bed, tossing and turning, as nature took to empty the remains. She was bleeding profusely. The pain was so grave that, she vomited every now and then.

A whole half-day later, Sita was exhausted. She had never experienced pain so bitter in her life. Her first born was from a C-section. She had never been so lonely in suffering, battling it out alone in the confines of her room.

Monday morning, the doctor ushered her into his office and then almost just as quickly, did the scan. The scan was near normal. The uterus was near empty. The fetus had been evacuated.


  

Our Hands!

A Superb quote I read on the wall of a children's hospital..

Being a "Hands-On Mom"

I discovered the best way to keep my toddler engaged. Its a simple, no-mess, no-cost exercise, that anyone can do from just about anywhere(unless you live in a war zone!) weather permiting!. Its called- GOING FOR A WALK!.
We started this week, by walking around the neighborhood. Thankfully, the weather was much better than it has ever been since we came here! (and my husband promises it will get better- well, except (there is always an EXCEPT!), this weekend, when it may snow again!).
Its simply a beautiful thing to do. If you always wanted to "stop and smell the roses", then this is the way to do it!. My kiddo is just about curious about everything on the way- the dogs, cats, birds, the planes in the sky, the lady with a stroller and even the gravel on the pavement!. Its fun introducing him to the ordinary things in life, that are so mundane for us, yet new and exciting for him!.
Yesterday, we saw a little birdie's nest in the tree. And today, we saw the garbage truck emptying out the roadside bins!.

Im trying to be a "Hands-on Mom"!- so nowadays I'm planning new, practical and educational activities at home. Yesterday, we spent the evening playing with lentils!. I gave my little one lots of spoons and lots of vessels of different sizes, and watched while he filled and emptied them all. The activity ended with him spilling all of them on the floor (and eating a few), so had to call it "quits!" early on!. Anyways, it was fun while it lasted!. 

Wind of Change

Change is inevitable.. but also tough to accept .. until it becomes a routine. When I went from married working woman to working mother, the change was enormous!. The sleepless nights, the endless breast feeding sessions and the stresses of everyday household affairs took their toll on me and ultimately, I compromised my professional work ethics. I was always late to work, always waiting to leave early, skipping sessions, etc. Now when I look back, I wonder why I never handled the situation better then?. I had fallen into a runt and couldn't get out of it.
Thats exactly, what I want to avoid while I'm here. Again, change has been tough on me but this time, I seeking to control it. I could crib all day and wail and scream that this is not what Im asking for!, but then, who's listening?.Lesson learnt from my last experience- Control the change!.
Years ago, my friends and I had gone for a Scorpions concert in Bangalore, while in college. Now, I'm not a big fan, but I do love their hit song- "Wind of Change". It was the final song that night, and I remember, swaying to the music, with the song on our lips, and mobile phones' torches in hand, (substituting for candle light).

The future's in the air
I can feel it everywhere
Blowing with the wind of change

Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory night
Where the children of tomorrow dream away
In the wind of change

Walking down the street
Distant memories
Are buried in the past forever

Of course, the song is bigger than just a simple pep talk on change. It was symbolic to the end of the cold war and in many ways is a song for all wars and revolts. 

Playtime with my One year old

My 1 year old is a busy body. He is always on the move, picking up things, throwing others around and  tasting everything he can get his hands on.
Playtime with my son are especially special!. Its amazing what little things can amuse a baby!.. For instance, the other day, i had lined up all the stainless steel spoons/bowls/ tumblers/ plates along the kitchen floor, that he hammered to his heart's content for a good half an hour. The "Kitchen Orchestra" is one noisy game!. But beware of irritable neighbors when you do this, least you have someone calling you over the intercom!. Another favorite with my son, is "See- Saw", on my legs- it works as play as well as good  exercise for the last few pounds of fat on my tummy." Dressing up Teddy" is fun too- he hates sharing his clothes- the game invariably ends as "Undressing Teddy".
Simple distractions like ringing a bell, playing with jingling key chains and making dance patterns to smoothing music on a blank wall with a torch light are a hit with my son.
A terrace ladder is fun too!. Its like an infant "jungle gym". He goes dizzy with happiness as he sticks his head in and out between the ladder steps.
An evergreen play idea is "Peek-a-Boo". He never tires of it.
Babies don't often play what you want them to play!.. Watching them play is fun too!. My son can go on for ages just pulling things out of boxes and throwing them back in!.

Laughing out Loud!

Beautiful Quote in today's newspaper- the first thing that made me laugh out loud today- "The only difference between the taxman and the taxidermist, is that, at least the taxidermist, leaves the skin on!"

Laughing out loud!.. the quintessential emotion to have a good day.. can really be a blessing in these hectic times. Forget, stopping to smell the roses. we barely make the time to eat a healthy breakfast, these days! There is something about laughter and good company that makes your day complete- you may have worked your ass off the whole day, let your temper fly on a few unfortunate souls, have the worst luck at you favorite past time, and yet, there is something about "laughing out loud' that can smooth all that.

Working with the Right Attitude

Every morning as i park my car in the hospital parking lot, a smiling face greets me with a salute and an enthusiastic "Good Morning Madam!"- the parking lot security man.. an aged gentleman, impeccably dressed in his smart uniform, always sporting a cheerful face and attitude. He has the same smiling face and greeting for all the doctors who come his way and at whatever time of the day it might be. I am always struck by the attitude of this old man. His is a thankless job, bearing the heat and rain, he sits on a tiny curb adjoining the car park, "guarding" the cars. Its a boring job of 8 hours, on most days, with nobody giving his as much as a second glance. Yet this man, never seems bored or tired while on the job. He jumps up to guide any driver while they steer the car back or front, chases after young truants who try to get near the parking lot, and never misses to say a few words of small talk to every doctor through their car window. This simple man with the right attitude towards his job, has left a lasting impression on me.

A job, however small or insignificant, deserves its due attention and when we work with the right attitude, we can accomplish greater goals..

A Mother's Resolve

She was a thin, frail-looking lady with a even more frail-looking son. The boy was struck with an incurable disease. She never gave up on her (only) son, but, ran from pillar to post, spending the last of her salvaged money on his treatment. Her doctors advised her otherwise, but she would not heed to them. She was always there by his side, cleaning up his detritus, shunting food down his feeding pipe, holding him tight while he slept. He was once a talented, alert and active 10 year old, like others his age. But the disease had gotten to him, depriving him of his senses and making a vegetable out of him. Still, she would not let her motherly resolve be diminished by the obvious incurability of the disease. The story doesnt have a dramatic ending one would wish it did, but the mother's love for her dying son was truely remarkable.

Im my own responsibity now

Its been a while since my last post.. Reason- been busy mostly. New life/new job/new home and with all of it.. new responsibilities. Its like the older you get.. the less carefree your life becomes. Im my own resposibility now. I need to cook my own food, wash my own clothes, clean my own house, and most of all- earn my own money. Its with mixed feelings that i live my life. Happy about my financial independence and seemingly sucessful career but yet, i miss the time and energy that i had for my own fun- now diverted to my new found "responsibilities".
Two and a half months of this, im beginning to realise the gravity of care that my parents and grandparents did for my sakes. Just the sheer task of waking up everyday at 7 is a huge exercise for me. Thinking back of all the years past, my grandma woke up everyday at 5am regardless , to get us all going!. Making coffee or having a decent breakfast is now a luxary. Its bread and cheese if im lucky!.. and coffee at work (if the vending machine is working!). How i miss that warm cup of chocolate beverage waiting for me everyday on the dining table before i rushed off the school/college..the one that i made such a fuss to drink! Its amazing how life comes a full circle!. Its a wonder how my working mother managed to keep our 6 bedroom/9 bathroom(!) home of 6 persons in a sterile condition , while i struggle to keep my tiny 2 bedroon flat clean!. I cant remember a day when my mom complained (even after a hard day's work), that she was too tired/lazy to cook so "lets go out for a meal".. a phrase i so often use here!.
At the end of a day's work, all i can think of, is climbing into that warm queen's bed, cuddle up under the covers and collapse.
Right now, im trying to adapt to the situation the best i can; turn's out my best is still far away from my mom's worst!

The Longevity Equation: Sex+Sleep=Long Life

Blue Zones..wondering what they are?.. well they are small geographical pockets inhabited by the world's longest lived populations. Here, they tell me, are the maximum number of people over 90, living in one place!.

Scientists think the key to long life might be garnered by the study of these populations.In fact, an extensive study is ongoing to derteminine how these pockets of populations live as long as they do.

Check out this link to know more...

http://www.aarpmagazine.org/health/longevityquest

Presently, life expectency in India is 62 years.. slightly more in females than males. A study showed that most health related costs in a person's life are in the last few years of his/her life. A huge amount of money is spent with little respite from the persistent suffering. 

The longeviety quest (as the study is called) is currently focussed on a tiny Greek island of Ikaria.

Here, they believe water from the hot springs might help  relieve joint pains/skin problems.Also, low levels of radon have been detected in the region- making scientists question if low levels of radiation might actually repair damaged DNA! And of course,people here susbide on a Mediterraen diet- which is well known for its health benefits. A locally made honey, drawn by bees from the pollen of thyme, has been attributed anti-oxidant and anti-senility activites!

The best part about the island is the character of the people. Although they have volcanic tempers, they supposedly, quickly subside!. They sleep at  midnight, wake up late and take frequent naps in between.  And here is the absolute winner- even people over 90! are sexually active!!

So the logical conclusion that scientists have drawn from the facts is-  SEX+SLEEP=LONG LIFE!!

In short, their analysis has 9 factors which are believed to be the secrets to a long and health life...

1.stop eating when you are about 80% full

2.Eat more veggies, less protein/processed foods

3.drink red wine in moderation!

4.have a sense of purpose in life

5. maintain a spiritual and belief system

6.Work less*** slow down and take vacations

7.make physical movement a vital part of life

8. have a healthy social network- in fact, having at least 2 good friends is suppose to add years to your life

9. make family a priority.

Change your attitude

There is so much agitation in the west about jobs being "off-shored" to countries like India. It is "the" phenomenon being blamed for the job losses, a situation made worse by the recession. Its so bad that when someone loses there job to outsourcing- its called " he's been bangalored!". In the wake of the crises, President Obama plans to bring in more "protectist"measures. (rising economic vocabulary- sign of the times!).And India has pledged to do all it can to ensure its outsourced work stations (read: call centers) are safe guarded from job losses!.

What a world we live in!.. 

Each one for his own, shaping their economic destiny. 

Anyway, just wanted to share with you guys some thing i just read- from a letter written by a manager of a MNC to his employees regarding the outsourcing crises.

"....Change is hard.Change is hardest on those caught by suprise. Change is hardest on those who have difficulty changing too. But change is natural; change is not new; change is important.....Work gets done where it can be done most effectively and efficiently...it is time to think about the obligations of change as well as the oppurtunities in it...'