Poised in an exaggerated lithotomy position, with a sonic probe in her privates, Sita waited, as her gynecologist, pronounced the verdict. Nearly three months pregnant, she had been been joking rather casually to her friends that this pregnancy had been a "song" of sorts, compared to her first. But that was only till the night before.
Sita never expected the turn of events that had unfolded the night before. Like every other night since her pregnancy was confirmed, she had risen to empty her bladder in the middle of the night. Her nocturnal micturating habit had been the only thing that had been troubling her in this pregnancy. It was so slightly disturbing, that she almost forgot she was carrying at most times!. But that night, she spotted some blood on her undergarments. Before, she could wonder what that meant, she was passed out. She couldn't remember how long she must have been lying on the bathroom floor. She only could vaguely piece together sights of her hitting her head on the door frame as she passed out, then limping out of the bathroom, only to fall unconscious again in the passageway. The incident left her with a bruise on her left shoulder and head, both of which were terribly sore even as she laid in the gynecologist's office.
The gynecologist, was a middle aged man in his early 50s. He seemed learned and skilled but, was always in a rush to usher his patients out. Almost immediately after he had maneuvered the sonic probe inside, he shook his head and bluntly declared " its dead!". That was it!.
Sita stared at the screen in disbelief. These things were not supposed to happen!. This was the second pregnancy- it was supposed to be easy!. Her mind was full of thoughts, but the doctor wasted no time at all. " I am sorry, but there is nothing that can be done..", he said and pulled the probe out.
The doctor went on to explain that she had the option of waiting for a spontaneous expulsion or getting an evacuation done at a local hospital. It was a Friday morning- a day most doctors would love to relax and look forward to the weekend. He quickly scribbled some iron tablets and advised to come for a repeat scan on Monday morning- leaving the evacuation decision to Sita.
Numbed and lost, Sita walked outside the clinic, gathering her thoughts. She was not distraught at the loss of her second born. Her first child was always keeping her on her toes, so much so, that she sometimes was unsure of how she was going to manage with two children. Even so, it was a personal loss. Her biological clock was ticking. She couldn't help but think that it must have been an aged, dysfunctional ovum that had been responsible for the fetal loss. That was what the doctor was hinting at, as he tried to explain the early pregnancy loss. She wondered if it was the extra strain at housework that had been responsible for the miscarriage,but then immediately dismissed the thought, as frivolous.
Back home, she called up her mother and told her what had happened. Expectedly, her mother was calm and comforting. She called a few friends and told them, but quickly hung up, not wanting to go into details.
That night, she sobbed her heart out. It was a miscarriage, but it felt like everything was going wrong for her. She was lost. She felt unwanted and unimportant. She felt responsible for the loss. Was it the tap water that was the cause? Maybe she should have headed to the warning of too much lead in tap water. Was it her diet?. She couldn't help feeling guilty. But her mind didn't stop at just that. Her career had been hijacked by familial commitments. Her social circle had all but gone. She had even given up on taking care of herself, devoting her full time to childcare and household chores.
Thus far, the pain had been emotional. The next day, it became the worse kind of physical pain, she had ever experienced. Sita had opted to wait it out for a spontaneous expulsion. She didn't have to wait too long. It started with a cramping, on and off pain in her lower abdomen. And then, went on, getting worse, with every passing minute. Writhing in pain, Sita howled in her bed, tossing and turning, as nature took to empty the remains. She was bleeding profusely. The pain was so grave that, she vomited every now and then.
A whole half-day later, Sita was exhausted. She had never experienced pain so bitter in her life. Her first born was from a C-section. She had never been so lonely in suffering, battling it out alone in the confines of her room.
Monday morning, the doctor ushered her into his office and then almost just as quickly, did the scan. The scan was near normal. The uterus was near empty. The fetus had been evacuated.
Sita never expected the turn of events that had unfolded the night before. Like every other night since her pregnancy was confirmed, she had risen to empty her bladder in the middle of the night. Her nocturnal micturating habit had been the only thing that had been troubling her in this pregnancy. It was so slightly disturbing, that she almost forgot she was carrying at most times!. But that night, she spotted some blood on her undergarments. Before, she could wonder what that meant, she was passed out. She couldn't remember how long she must have been lying on the bathroom floor. She only could vaguely piece together sights of her hitting her head on the door frame as she passed out, then limping out of the bathroom, only to fall unconscious again in the passageway. The incident left her with a bruise on her left shoulder and head, both of which were terribly sore even as she laid in the gynecologist's office.
The gynecologist, was a middle aged man in his early 50s. He seemed learned and skilled but, was always in a rush to usher his patients out. Almost immediately after he had maneuvered the sonic probe inside, he shook his head and bluntly declared " its dead!". That was it!.
Sita stared at the screen in disbelief. These things were not supposed to happen!. This was the second pregnancy- it was supposed to be easy!. Her mind was full of thoughts, but the doctor wasted no time at all. " I am sorry, but there is nothing that can be done..", he said and pulled the probe out.
The doctor went on to explain that she had the option of waiting for a spontaneous expulsion or getting an evacuation done at a local hospital. It was a Friday morning- a day most doctors would love to relax and look forward to the weekend. He quickly scribbled some iron tablets and advised to come for a repeat scan on Monday morning- leaving the evacuation decision to Sita.
Numbed and lost, Sita walked outside the clinic, gathering her thoughts. She was not distraught at the loss of her second born. Her first child was always keeping her on her toes, so much so, that she sometimes was unsure of how she was going to manage with two children. Even so, it was a personal loss. Her biological clock was ticking. She couldn't help but think that it must have been an aged, dysfunctional ovum that had been responsible for the fetal loss. That was what the doctor was hinting at, as he tried to explain the early pregnancy loss. She wondered if it was the extra strain at housework that had been responsible for the miscarriage,but then immediately dismissed the thought, as frivolous.
Back home, she called up her mother and told her what had happened. Expectedly, her mother was calm and comforting. She called a few friends and told them, but quickly hung up, not wanting to go into details.
That night, she sobbed her heart out. It was a miscarriage, but it felt like everything was going wrong for her. She was lost. She felt unwanted and unimportant. She felt responsible for the loss. Was it the tap water that was the cause? Maybe she should have headed to the warning of too much lead in tap water. Was it her diet?. She couldn't help feeling guilty. But her mind didn't stop at just that. Her career had been hijacked by familial commitments. Her social circle had all but gone. She had even given up on taking care of herself, devoting her full time to childcare and household chores.
Thus far, the pain had been emotional. The next day, it became the worse kind of physical pain, she had ever experienced. Sita had opted to wait it out for a spontaneous expulsion. She didn't have to wait too long. It started with a cramping, on and off pain in her lower abdomen. And then, went on, getting worse, with every passing minute. Writhing in pain, Sita howled in her bed, tossing and turning, as nature took to empty the remains. She was bleeding profusely. The pain was so grave that, she vomited every now and then.
A whole half-day later, Sita was exhausted. She had never experienced pain so bitter in her life. Her first born was from a C-section. She had never been so lonely in suffering, battling it out alone in the confines of her room.
Monday morning, the doctor ushered her into his office and then almost just as quickly, did the scan. The scan was near normal. The uterus was near empty. The fetus had been evacuated.
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